Rejection

Doors closing, doors opening, blah blah

I haven’t written anything in a while. Between the soul-crushing day job, the spouse with recurring medical complications, the two ridiculous French bulldogs, and just the usual household maintenance … I’ve been a little distracted. And when I’m stressed, I have two ways of coping: either I channel my nervous energy into my art, or I eat a lot of takeout food, junk food, and sweets. If I’m lucky, it’s both.

Let me tell you — last week, I started 4 pieces of jewelry and none of them is finished, and I actually bought (and ate) a pint of Ben & Jerry’s Phish Food. So that’s how I’ve been doing, how about you??

Two Ridiculous Frenchies

But enough about my stress level - let’s talk about another thing that happened last week, which is, my application for the art exhibit I wrote about previously, was REJECTED.

In case you missed that one, let me recap: I came across a call for submissions for an exhibit at a venue that feels like it should be my home. It’s the place where my husband and I got married, and my work (in jewelry) has been inspired by this artist’s work (in mosaic murals all over the city). Editing my Bio and Artist Statement for the application for this show, I was able to see the direction my work is taking and the design style I want to focus on and continue to develop. So yeah, I knew that it was a good experience whether I got in or not. But dammit, I wanted to get in!

I've been working on my Artist Statement and Bio. Clearly they still need some improvement.

I also wrote a post a while ago about Impostor Syndrome. Depending on my emotional equilibrium on any given day, I can say that being rejected (yet again) in an effort to show my work, is either (1) an affirmation of my belief that I’m a total amateur wanna-be and not good enough to be considered an actual artist; or (2) not a big surprise, very much expected, not a big deal, and an opportunity to focus on other plans.

I roll my eyes at myself when I describe this experience as A Learning Opportunity. But bear with me for a minute, because I think I figured something out.

So yeah, I knew that it was a good experience whether I got in or not. But dammit, I wanted to get in!

If you’ve gotten this far, well, so have I! I’m actually quite surprised reading back over what I’ve written here, because I wrote it over a month ago and I had no memory of it - I had stopped dead in my tracks and lost all motivation to write. Hmmm, now that I think about it, maybe the experience of rejection had some sort of impact on me??

So, to pick up where I left off, I’m pretty sure that what I have figured out, in the process of applying for the art exhibit, is where I’m growing as an artist. Specifically, I am in love with making tiny mosaics out of scraps of silver and turning them into pieces of jewelry. I’ve even started adding some gold to them. They look like relics. Ancient and modern at the same time. More importantly, they look like they are uniquely mine. I did take a class a few years ago where we fused silver scraps to a larger piece of silver and then ran it through a rolling mill. (Shout-out to one of my many awesome teachers, Eva Sherman!) I think that was the spark for this technique, but I don’t have a rolling mill, and I do have just enough OCD to want every little piece to fit together just so.

I call this my Tiny Mosaic Keum-boo Collection

My next goal for my work is to integrate this way of working with metal, with my desire to explore different ways to incorporate color into my work. Lately I’ve been playing with using enamel (which is actually powdered glass, and glass was my first love - lampworking got me into jewelry-making in the first place). Treating enameled pieces as if they are stones and setting them like cabochons, gives me unusual options for traditional settings.

Enamel Effects

I’m looking forward to continued exploration and learning … and my hope for 2024 is that as my work evolves my confidence will grow and my Inner Critic will have less harsh things to say, and … maybe my art will find its way into the world somehow.

This coming year I’d like to find a brick-and-mortar home for my jewelry, a gallery or boutique where people could see it in person. I’m sure the process will bring additional opportunities to deal with rejection. But you know what I have to say about that right now?

BRING. IT. ON.

Wishing everyone Happy Holidays and a bright and shiny New Year.